Baby Blues

hiya, sweet cheeks

well. it has started. i'm starting to feel sad about how big and grown up you are getting. i'm watching your baby days disappear at an alarming rate, and all i want to do is make it STOP! i am really missing being pregnant with you...feeling you stretch and kick...rubbing your head (which you still LOVE)...anticipating your arrival. i miss it all. and, of course i want to do your birth all over again and have it go right.

all that said, i am LOVING this stage with you. you are growing and changing so fast...you have something new to show us almost every day. your personality is beginning to shine through and we are finding that you are one mellow little dude with a great sense of humor. here's a top ten list of all my favorite things about you at this moment:

10 the way you smell (most of the time :-). i could bury my nose in your neck and inhale all day long if you'd let me and i didn't have anything else to do :-)

9 how studiously you examine moving parts. you definitely have some mechanical/engineering leanings. you are fasicnated with wheels and balls...really anything that rolls.

8 your determination. you know what you want, and you go get it. for a long time, this meant you used your fish-out-of-water and then your army crawl and now your big-boy crawl and pulling up. whatever it is, you go and get it. you climb over and under and around and through whatever is in your way!

7 your smile. your smile lights up the room, buddy. you have the most adorable dimples, and i love the way your eyes sparkle and crinkle up when you smile.

6 your laugh. i love to hear your voice...i can't wait to hear you speak. in the mean time, your laugh gives me the best idea what your voice will be like. it's very little boy. you laugh with abandon, and you laugh easily. your laugh makes me laugh instantly. between you and sissy (who also has a wonderful laugh), i could literally bust a gut when you guys get me laughing!

5 your cuddliness. now that you're all over the place, you make it known when you want to be held...you just climb right into our laps and up our chests to snuggle. if we're standing, you crawl over and pull up on our legs. i especially love to cuddle you when you're eating or are sleepy...you have to contort your long, tall self to do it, but you nuzzle your head between my shoulder and neck and you get very still and heavy when i rub your head (like i did when you were in my tummy). since daddy is much taller, you have an easier time snuggling with him and can fall asleep in his arms (you can't get comfy enough to sleep in my arms most of the time).

4 giving you a bath. it does not matter how tired or unhappy you are...your bath transforms you into a very happy, smiling boy. i think giving you your bath and cuddling you as you drink your last bottle are my very favorite parts of my day with you.

3 how much you love your sister. you always want to know where she is and now that you're on the move, you follow her around a lot. sometimes you wake up grumpy in the afternoons (when mommy has made you do too much in one day), but as soon as you see sissy or hear her voice, you are all smiles. i know that this will come to an end or change soon enough...when the fighting sets in...but for now, i am really enjoying watching you adore her!

2 your hair. i love red hair. i have always loved red hair. your pop-pop had beautiful red hair in his prime. pop-pop passed away when you were only 7 weeks in my tummy, and i spent my entire pregnancy with you hoping you would have his red hair. and, you do. well, you have your own version of it. yours is so many different colors. in artificial light, your hair looks dark blonde. in sunlight, it looks fire red. in late afternoon sunlight, it is the color of a brand new penny. your hair is soft and curly. i love to rub your head and bury my nose in the soft curls at the back of your neck. i will have to do this as often as i can in the next few months b/c i am sure that very soon i won't be able to do this b/c you will be running away from me or be too busy crashing your toy trucks or digging in the mud or splashing in the creek or chasing a ball...doing what little boys do!

1 my number one favorite thing about you right now is how much you love my hair. when you are awake and playful, you grab my hair in your two tiny fists and just YANK until your heart is content. i do "crazy hair" when you are laying down for a new diaper or your meds...trying to get you to laugh or to distract you from the icky-tasting meds. i tickle your forehead with the ends of my hair, swish my hair around in a big circle, or i use it to play peek-a-boo. all of these things make you laugh and laugh. my favorite, though, is that when i am giving you your last bottle of the day, you want to put your hands in my hair for comfort. i usually have it up in a pony tail, but i let it down and make sure that i tilt my head so that you can reach it...you softly run your hands through my hair as your eyes begin to close and you begin to fall asleep. i can't get enough of this, buddy.

i love you, quinn! i feel so incredibly lucky to have you. when i think about what it took to get pregnant with you, stay pregnant with you, and get you born...i can barely breathe. you are such a gift.

-mommy