hiya, sweet cheeks!
it's been a while, eh? sorry for the lapse, but i'm in complete denial. your birthday is a mere 8 days away, and i'm not ready. oh, i'm ready to see how much fun you will have with your gifts and cake, and i'm eager for all the new things on your horizon, and i'm eager to watch you grow and thrive and move toward the next goal/milestone at warp speed. BUT...i am not ready to close the door on your babyhood. i just can't believe that i will never have another baby...that my baby is all done being a baby. i am definitely not ready to go through all the mixed emotions i have about your birth. let's face it...been doing that for months now. i have so much sadness and regret about your birth...it's silly, really. i need to focus on the fact that you're here, you're healthy, and despite the shitstorm you and i survived, we are none the worse for the wear. i am just sad that i have no good memories of your birth or of the two months following it. i wish i could do all of it all over again, make different (better) choices, and have nothing but happy memories of your entrance into this world. i am hopeful that next year, all i will be thinking about is how much fun your first birthday was...and that the memories and feelings about your birth will have faded.
i love you, you 'lil-bit-crazy, climbing, head-banging, giggling, clapping, almost-walking little boy. you bring immeasurable joy to my life.
-mommy
0 comments:
Post a Comment